Thursday, April 2, 2015

work/motherhood imbalance...

Some days, I feel I am treading water. Being at work, doing it part-time, trying to find that mythical balance.

Everyone says, be 100% at work when you're at work, and 100% with your baby when you're with them. I like the idea but can't seem to put it into practice.

I have had moments at work where my brain has just glitched, and all I can think about is Evelyn, something that was bothering her, something funny she did. Similarly I've had moments when I'm with her, when I'm suddenly in work mode and planning something out on a file. I can't switch it off. Some weeks, I feel I should be working 4 days instead of 2, others I don't want to spend a single day away from my daughter. It is absolutely confusing, but I'm guessing it's also pretty normal.

I am slowly learning to be ok with the reality that my focus has shifted - this little person has come along and taken up a huge place in my life. At this point in time, I'm not thinking of being promoted, or making partner. I'm happy settling back in and taking it slow. I have struggled with this SO much. But I'm learning that it's ok to not be as driven at this point in my life. It's a different season right now.

Do you work part-time? Did you struggle with the adjustment?
xoxo



19 comments:

  1. I have a ten month old and I will be going back three days a week after Easter. I am so sad, but I think it will be good for both of us. It feels like a new season in life, that 'newbirn' phase is over.

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    1. I think it's a good thing to go back, good for both of you as you say. I'm sure you will be fine when you return Hun xx

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  2. I've been working 4 days a week since my daughter (now 1) was 6 months old. For me, 4 days is just right. Any less, I don't feel like I'd be able to keep up and contribute enough at work (nature of the role), and if I didn't have my Wednesdays with my girl, I would lose my mind :)
    I'm really happy with the balance we've struck - and my husband is absolutely an equal part of the equation. He too works 4 days a week, he does childcare drop-off & pick-up, and he is on solo baby-duty when I work 20 hours overtime in a week, or when I want to see a movie (and I reciprocate when he travels for work or the army reserves, and goes to the gym every night).
    It's not always perfect but it works. The only things I would change, if I could, would be having family nearby and getting a cleaner!

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    1. We are so, so lucky to have family right nearby who are very supportive. A cleaner would be nice haha xx

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  3. My partner and I work a 9 day fortnight so our 18 month old daughter is in childcare for 4 days and we alternate one day a week at home with her. I'd love to work less but at the same time I love my job. I got a promotion when I returned from mat leave and it was too good to say no too. Perhaps bad timing but we're trying to make it work. Best thing is that Zoe adores childcare so we don't have to feel guilty about that. I figure as long as she's happy then that's all that matters.

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    1. It's so fantastic when they enjoy childcare :) It would be so difficult to drop them off if they were crying and upset xx

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  4. I have been back at work three months now and I still find it super hard. I miss Elliott like crazy all the time and feel like I am drowning at work trying to squeeze five days into three. I don't think it will get any better. 😢

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    1. Oh no I'm so sorry to hear :( It's so tough xx

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    2. On the plus side E is spending the three days with his grandma's and is having a lovely time. I am so grateful for their help and for the beautiful relationship and bond that he will have with them forever; something I always wished for.

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  5. You probably wouldn't struggle so much if your husband was around more.

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    1. He actually doesn't work away much these days now that he's a field manager. But thanks for your concern :)

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    2. Oh my goodness! How rude!
      I think you would be best spending your time working on yourself and less time making rude comments.

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    3. I meant the anon commenter was rude- not Cate's classy response..

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    4. Thanks Hun :) i really appreciate it xx

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  6. I seemed to fall into it relatively well, no idea how I managed that, it just happened.
    Sometimes at work I drift off, easy being in a library though, we get a new tub of picture books and I open it up and go "Oh she would like this... and this... and this... okay I don't think I can carry this many home but also this", then sometimes when I'm at home I start singing with her or doing something and have to race off and write it down because hey, it would really work for babytime.
    But on a whole I think little bits seeping in here and there don't matter, as long as 98% of the time my mind is where it's meant to be, well, life doesn't fit too neatly into boxes, you can't close one and open another at will. I think the problem is when one is preventing you from doing the other.

    -Cabaret (whose laptop is having a meltdown and won't log her into anything)

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    1. Ahh hai Cabaret !!! Have missed you and your blog :) It's so true that you can't just neatly compartmentalise your life, I need to stop trying to xx

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    2. Such great advice Cabaret!

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  7. This is so me!! After being at work for 2 days, I'm totally focused and driven and wish I were working more but then I go home, spend 4 days at home and don't want to go back to work! It is really confusing.

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  8. It's so hard! I went back to work in January when bub was 8 months old. I've been working two days per week, but I feel like I've only been at work half the time I'm meant to have been because of daycare sickness. Thank goodness for grandparent backup! I've primarily gone back so 'early' to hold my place - I'm in law as well and the market in Brisbane is saturated. I feel that if I had have taken too much leave (and not gone back to my position) then it would have been very difficult for me to break back into it. I'm not interested in furthering my career at this stage, I'll worry about that once bub is at school maybe? At this stage I'm happy to just plod along and do my work well. It's so hard though, particuarly with the daycare sickness, I feel like I should just be at home wrapping her in cotton wool. The juggle is real!

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